"Mausam" Poster: Seriously Gorgeous

Love love love this.  I've been ambivalent about the film (I haven't really been digging what Shahid's been doing since Jab We Met) but I do love Sonam and so far all the trailers and song promos have looked really promising.

And then of course there's this, which is...wow.  I kind of want this poster for my house.

My Biggest Bollywood Pet Peeve

In an earlier life, before I was a Bollywood fan and Occasional Blogger of Things of Dubious Importance, I was a cellist.  Not, you know, a concert cellist or anything, but a pretty decent cellist nonetheless.  I knew how to do all the important things, like how to play open string notes on the strings below them because I was too lazy to tune my instrument properly, and how to make a really whiny noise by turning my bow upside down (or playing on the wrong side of the bridge). 

Most importantly, I knew how to hold my damn instrument in a way that made people think I wasn't touching a cello for the first time.

Your move, Kat:

I don't expect film stars to be the reincarnation of Pablo Casals or anything, but it takes maybe thirty seconds to look up a picture of Yo-Yo Ma and check out what he's doing with his right hand.  And his left one, for that matter.  Look at her!  She's not even playing a real note!  She's got her fingers in a squished up version of first position on the A and the D string, but her bow is on the C string!  Cheeee!

This has got to be my biggest pet peeve in the history of the world right here: actors who play musicians who can't be bothered to try and look authentic.  We all know Katrina Kaif isn't playing the cello but would it kill her to try and look the part? 

Lest anyone think I'm picking on Katrina, let's check out some other offenders.  Like Rishi "I'm just gonna put some fingers on some strings and hope it looks good" Kapoor.

Or this.  WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T EVEN OMG.  Are you going to play that or eat it?  Because based on what you're doing here I'm leaning towards the eating.

Here's Akshay, demonstrating that it may take two Bollywood stars to film a romantic scene but only one to fuck up the violin.

Sigh.  The less said about this the better.  If only I could find a job teaching the violin where there was no requirement that I actually be able to play the violin.

Long story short: Katrina, if you ever decide to film Yuvraaj 2 (and I think we can all safely say we hope that never happens), here's some study material for you.

Memorize this.  For my sanity.

Song of the Day--Paayaliya (Dev D)

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

I put on the Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara soundtrack today to chase away some rainy day blues.

A week ago I wouldn’t have given that CD a second thought.

In all the excited buildup to Zoya Akhtar’s sophomore film I felt like the person who got left behind at the rest stop and didn’t really mind.  I was psyched for the trip but the further we got the less enthused I was feeling.

“Zoya!  Farhan!  Hrithik!  Abhay!  I’ll pack my stuff!”

“Spain!  Hmm…this is starting to look like a tourist brochure…maybe I’ll just come for a few days.”

“Katrina’s coming?  Ugh.  Fine.  Look, I’ll tag along but I’m not going to be nice to her.”

“What the hell is this music we’re listening to?  No.  No, I’m good.  You guys go ahead, I’ll hitch a ride home.”

And then I saw the film.  And I fell in love.  

Was the film flawed?  Yes.  

Did I completely forget every criticism I had of the film five minutes after I left the theater?

Yep.

I hesitate to even continue typing at this point—this is my third attempt to capture a piece of what I felt after viewing ZNMD and I’m finding it impossible.  I just erased four thousand words of…of what, exactly?  Fawning praise of some camera work and criticisms that don’t need to be explained.  We all know the gentle negatives of the film: the intro was too long and fluffy, the characters live in a world of wealth outside the reach of most of those who will see the film, it veered dangerously close at times to being a commercial for the Costa Brava.

So why am I listening to Der Lagi Lekin with tears in my eyes right now?

It’s because regardless of how artificial ZNMD’s world is, I know that the film is right.  Those characters are right.  They did something we all need to do—they figured out how to let go and live in the moment.  

Is that cheesy?

Maybe.

 

Is it important? 

Absolutely.

The film centers around Arjun (Hrithik Roshan), Kabir (Abhay Deol), and Imran (Farhan Akhtar), but the main character, without a doubt, is Spain.  Director Zoya Akhtar said she initially had Mexico in mind for the location but I think she made the correct choice with Spain.  Having had my own Spanish adventures I can say that the transformative effect of that Barcelona air isn’t just movie magic—it’s real.  So real that I sometimes remember the smell of a rainy day spent wandering around Parc Güell and it puts me in a good mood for days. 

ZNMD was full of little surprises.  The first was Katrina Kaif.  It’s no secret that I’ll often flat out refuse to see a film if she’s in it, so little do I regard her, erm, “talents,” but she was so natural here that I actually found myself liking her.  I’m inclined to think she’s either a director’s actress or that she just isn’t at all suited to the type of acting required in your typical Akshay Kumar film (who I love, bless his heart, but that brand of cheesy film making requires a certain kind of actress and Kat doesn’t have what it takes for them).

The second (major spoiler alert here) is the treatment of Imran’s reunion with his father.  It would have been easy (and lazy) to throw together a happy scene where the son embraces his long-lost father and all is well in the world, but Zoya isn’t lazy.  Imran (played perfectly by Farhan, who for me had the standout performance of the film) struggles with the idea of meeting his father and when he finally does it isn’t a loving scene.  There are no clichés here, just honesty: Salman (Naseeruddin Shah) didn’t want to give up his life to raise a child, so he left, and tells Imran he feels no remorse.  It’s this second rejection that provides Imran with the emotional release he needed.  Just as Arjun’s  life changed when he overcame his fear of the water, so too did Imran’s as he moved past his fear of meeting the man who abandoned him.

And what was Kabir afraid of?  Two things, as it turned out.  For most of the film we’re led to believe he was afraid of getting married, but things aren’t always as they appear.  He isn’t so much afraid of marriage as he’s afraid of not getting married, and the disappointment of his family that would follow.  He’s afraid of breaking Natasha’s (Kalki Koechlin) heart.  While Arjun’s transformation is more outwardly noticeable (going from uptight, obsessed career man to a dreamy man in love), Kabir is more complex.  As he argues with Natasha (first at a distance, then in person as she joins the boys out of jealousy and suspicion) the easy going personality of Kabira (as his friends lovingly call him) is chipped away, revealing a man just as much in need of catharsis as his companions, perhaps even more.

I hesitate to compare Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara to Luck By Chance; where LBC was so plot driven and focused on the complex relationships between characters, ZNMD is more introspective.  They're vastly different in their scope, though I will say that as much as I admire Hrithik as an actor, I found him more effective in LBC, where his time on screen was a fraction of what it is in ZNMD.  He's so imposing that he almost overshadowed Abhay and Farhan, and while I was interested in Arjun's story line, it was Imran who I wanted more of.  Farhan was stellar in his portrayal of a man who jokes his way through life as a cover for pain that he doesn't want to talk about.  Abhay was the rock of the film, playing parent to Arjun and Imran and finally coming to terms with the decision he had to make.  Hrithik and Katrina had wonderful chemistry, as did Farhan with Ariadna Cabrol, the Spanish actress who plays  his love interest.  I couldn't have been the only one who wanted their post-love scene Spanish/Hindi conversation to go on forever.

I want to say there aren't enough words to describe how moved I was by Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara but that's not true.  I just threw out the three thousand odd that I had left from previous review attempts in favor of these, which are all that are necessary:

It's beautiful.  Go see it.

Ugh, Really?

File this under Things Melissa Does Not Want:

Song of the Day--#1 Punjabi Edition

I've had this in my head all day so it's only fair that it gets stuck in yours as well.  :P

Like Father, Like Son

Kapoor Khazana ended in June but hey, someone's gotta be fashionably late to the party, so why not me?

In keeping with my last post (Chalka Chalka Re vs. Yaaro Yaarodi) here's another video war to vote on.

Two Kapoors.

Two movies.

One song.

Whose Bachna Ae Haseeno was better, Rishi's or Ranbir's?


Bachna Ae Haseeno (Hum Kisise Kum Nahin, 1977):

Bachna Ae Haseeno (Bachna Ae Haseeno, 2008):

Chalka Chalka Re vs. Yaaro Yaarodi

I'm much more of a Hindi film fan than I am of any of the southern industries, so generally when it comes to Bollywood films that have counterparts in other languages I only ever bother to watch the Hindi.  I added Saathiya to my collection last winter and just picked up Alaipayuthey this week.  I haven't watched Alaipayuthey yet (there's never time!) but I did take a few minutes to check out Yaaro Yaarodi, the Tamil original of one of my all time favorite songs, Chalka Chalka Re.

I don't think Yaaro Yaarodi holds up to Chalka Chalka Re--I've gotten used to the pace of the Hindi version and the original seems too fast and a bit jumbled.  My favorite line of any song in the world, "Baabula chhoda tera anganaara," got sort of lost in Yaaro Yaarodi.  Hrmph.

So which video is your favorite?  It's actually a close call for me...I prefer Maddy over Vivek but Chalka Chalka Re wins for me because Rani is just so cute!

Yaaro Yaarodi

Chalka Chalka Re

Bhairavi Goswami, and Lying About Aishwarya For Publicity

How does a second-rate Bollywood actress get her name in the news just long enough to land herself a spot on a reality show/talk show/get a book deal/anything else that'll get her some cash?

You poke at the Bachchans in public.

It would be completely unsurprising if that's what Bhairavi Goswami is doing at the moment.  All that crap the other day about Aishwarya getting IVF treatments so she can continue the line of Bachchan men?  Probably made up off the top of her head.  She gave pretty much the shadiest interview ever to the Times of India this weekend and it's pretty clear she's trying to act like she never said anything.  So either she was lying and it got more attention than she wanted or someone tapped her on the shoulder and reminded her where she stands on the totem pole of film industry power.  Namely at the bottom.

She's got a good point about the desire for male children and good for her for pointing out (yet again) the disparate levels of female vs. male children born in states like UP.  But come on already with the Aishwarya stuff.  Either you know something or you don't.  Don't be f'ing coy, it's so tiresome.  Be a doll and spill the goss' or shut the hell up.

Just saying.

"Oh My God, My Son Is a Lesbian!"

In honor of gay marriage being passed in New York State, a bit of "Goodness Gracious Me" for everyone.

"You go to your room, and don't come back until you're not of the gay!"

Bhairavi Goswami Has Something to Say About Aishwarya Rai

Bheja Fry actress Bhairavi Goswami took to Twitter today with some strange (and if true, tragic) gossip.

"Nauseating 2 read superstars givg interviews abt wanting a girl baby whn she has gone 2 Bangkok to an IVF clinic which specializes in boy babies. Height of hypocrisy. They knw damn well its a boy, aftr all she has to produce a male heir at any cost - Typical UP mentality, no wonder that state has such high female foeticide."

She was clever enough at least not to specifically say who she was talking about but we all know she's referring to Aishwarya (Amitabh is from UP).


I'm of two minds on this.  Bhairavi hasn't offered any proof of her claim, and I'm sort of inclined to think it's a wild claim made up for media attention.  And yet...I don't find the idea of it either shocking or surprising.  After a weekend spent watching The Tudors (where Jonathan Rhys-Meyers spends 24 episodes in a row demanding a son and divorcing and beheading the women who aren't able to give him one) the idea of a woman (particularly one who lives in a still-patriarchal society) going to the ends of the earth (or in this case Thailand) to make sure the child she's carrying is a boy isn't out of the realm of possibility.


Fucking depressing, yes.  Medieval, yes.  Impossible?  No.


Whether it's true or not, there's one thing I know for sure:  Bhairavi Goswami is officially off the Bachchan Christmas card list.

Sweetly Simple

A non-Bollywood, non-India post, if you'll indulge me...

Nokia held a competition recently which challenged participants to make a film using only Nokia cell phones.  The winning film, by JW Griffiths, is called Splitscreen: A Love Story, and it's nothing short of remarkable.

The story line is simple and the editing is superb.  There's nothing incredibly original here, the wonder is in the way it's done.  It's a cute little project that shows that a film needn't be three hours long to pack a punch.

Please Oh Please Oh Please Let This Be True

Steven Baker over at Digital Spy is basically my favorite person in the world right now, because he brought me some fab news and I love him for it.*  Uday Chopra is finally going to stop torturing us with his attempts at acting!  (After Dhoom 3 that is, which...ugh...I can't even...ugh.)

*If I ever see Uday in another film after Dhoom 3 (aka Doomed 3) I'm going to withdraw my love and have you expelled from my kingdom.  For I'm Henry VIII I am I am, and I'm fickle like that.