My Biggest Bollywood Pet Peeve

In an earlier life, before I was a Bollywood fan and Occasional Blogger of Things of Dubious Importance, I was a cellist.  Not, you know, a concert cellist or anything, but a pretty decent cellist nonetheless.  I knew how to do all the important things, like how to play open string notes on the strings below them because I was too lazy to tune my instrument properly, and how to make a really whiny noise by turning my bow upside down (or playing on the wrong side of the bridge). 

Most importantly, I knew how to hold my damn instrument in a way that made people think I wasn't touching a cello for the first time.

Your move, Kat:

I don't expect film stars to be the reincarnation of Pablo Casals or anything, but it takes maybe thirty seconds to look up a picture of Yo-Yo Ma and check out what he's doing with his right hand.  And his left one, for that matter.  Look at her!  She's not even playing a real note!  She's got her fingers in a squished up version of first position on the A and the D string, but her bow is on the C string!  Cheeee!

This has got to be my biggest pet peeve in the history of the world right here: actors who play musicians who can't be bothered to try and look authentic.  We all know Katrina Kaif isn't playing the cello but would it kill her to try and look the part? 

Lest anyone think I'm picking on Katrina, let's check out some other offenders.  Like Rishi "I'm just gonna put some fingers on some strings and hope it looks good" Kapoor.

Or this.  WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T EVEN OMG.  Are you going to play that or eat it?  Because based on what you're doing here I'm leaning towards the eating.

Here's Akshay, demonstrating that it may take two Bollywood stars to film a romantic scene but only one to fuck up the violin.

Sigh.  The less said about this the better.  If only I could find a job teaching the violin where there was no requirement that I actually be able to play the violin.

Long story short: Katrina, if you ever decide to film Yuvraaj 2 (and I think we can all safely say we hope that never happens), here's some study material for you.

Memorize this.  For my sanity.

Like Father, Like Son

Kapoor Khazana ended in June but hey, someone's gotta be fashionably late to the party, so why not me?

In keeping with my last post (Chalka Chalka Re vs. Yaaro Yaarodi) here's another video war to vote on.

Two Kapoors.

Two movies.

One song.

Whose Bachna Ae Haseeno was better, Rishi's or Ranbir's?


Bachna Ae Haseeno (Hum Kisise Kum Nahin, 1977):

Bachna Ae Haseeno (Bachna Ae Haseeno, 2008):

Song of the Day--Main Teri Dushman (Nagina)

What a coincidence!  I've been listening to Main Teri Dushman on repeat for the last few days, ever since I read Sepia Mutiny's excellent post on Mallika Sherawat's Hisss.  And today I find out that Amaluu is hosting a Sridevi birthday celebration!  How perfect.  So in honor of the gorgeous Sridevi, here's the greatest take on the Cobra Dance I've ever seen on film:  Main Teri Dushman.

Film: Nagina
Directed by: Harmesh Malhotra
Music by: Laxmikant and Pyarelal
Starring: Sridevi, Amrish Puri, Rishi Kapoor, Prem Chopra