In an earlier life, before I was a Bollywood fan and Occasional Blogger of Things of Dubious Importance, I was a cellist. Not, you know, a concert cellist or anything, but a pretty decent cellist nonetheless. I knew how to do all the important things, like how to play open string notes on the strings below them because I was too lazy to tune my instrument properly, and how to make a really whiny noise by turning my bow upside down (or playing on the wrong side of the bridge).
Most importantly, I knew how to hold my damn instrument in a way that made people think I wasn't touching a cello for the first time.
Your move, Kat:
I don't expect film stars to be the reincarnation of Pablo Casals or anything, but it takes maybe thirty seconds to look up a picture of Yo-Yo Ma and check out what he's doing with his right hand. And his left one, for that matter. Look at her! She's not even playing a real note! She's got her fingers in a squished up version of first position on the A and the D string, but her bow is on the C string! Cheeee!
This has got to be my biggest pet peeve in the history of the world right here: actors who play musicians who can't be bothered to try and look authentic. We all know Katrina Kaif isn't playing the cello but would it kill her to try and look the part?
Lest anyone think I'm picking on Katrina, let's check out some other offenders. Like Rishi "I'm just gonna put some fingers on some strings and hope it looks good" Kapoor.
Or this. WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T EVEN OMG. Are you going to play that or eat it? Because based on what you're doing here I'm leaning towards the eating.
Here's Akshay, demonstrating that it may take two Bollywood stars to film a romantic scene but only one to fuck up the violin.
Sigh. The less said about this the better. If only I could find a job teaching the violin where there was no requirement that I actually be able to play the violin.
Long story short: Katrina, if you ever decide to film Yuvraaj 2 (and I think we can all safely say we hope that never happens), here's some study material for you.
I put on the Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara soundtrack today to chase away some rainy day blues.
A week ago I wouldn’t have given that CD a second thought.
In all the excited buildup to Zoya Akhtar’s sophomore film I felt like the person who got left behind at the rest stop and didn’t really mind. I was psyched for the trip but the further we got the less enthused I was feeling.
“Zoya! Farhan! Hrithik! Abhay! I’ll pack my stuff!”
“Spain! Hmm…this is starting to look like a tourist brochure…maybe I’ll just come for a few days.”
“Katrina’s coming? Ugh. Fine. Look, I’ll tag along but I’m not going to be nice to her.”
“What the hell is this music we’re listening to? No. No, I’m good. You guys go ahead, I’ll hitch a ride home.”
And then I saw the film. And I fell in love.
Was the film flawed? Yes.
Did I completely forget every criticism I had of the film five minutes after I left the theater?
Yep.
I hesitate to even continue typing at this point—this is my third attempt to capture a piece of what I felt after viewing ZNMD and I’m finding it impossible. I just erased four thousand words of…of what, exactly? Fawning praise of some camera work and criticisms that don’t need to be explained. We all know the gentle negatives of the film: the intro was too long and fluffy, the characters live in a world of wealth outside the reach of most of those who will see the film, it veered dangerously close at times to being a commercial for the Costa Brava.
So why am I listening to Der Lagi Lekin with tears in my eyes right now?
It’s because regardless of how artificial ZNMD’s world is, I know that the film is right. Those characters are right. They did something we all need to do—they figured out how to let go and live in the moment.
Is that cheesy?
Maybe.
Is it important?
Absolutely.
The film centers around Arjun (Hrithik Roshan), Kabir (Abhay Deol), and Imran (Farhan Akhtar), but the main character, without a doubt, is Spain. Director Zoya Akhtar said she initially had Mexico in mind for the location but I think she made the correct choice with Spain. Having had my own Spanish adventures I can say that the transformative effect of that Barcelona air isn’t just movie magic—it’s real. So real that I sometimes remember the smell of a rainy day spent wandering around Parc Güell and it puts me in a good mood for days.
ZNMD was full of little surprises. The first was Katrina Kaif. It’s no secret that I’ll often flat out refuse to see a film if she’s in it, so little do I regard her, erm, “talents,” but she was so natural here that I actually found myself liking her. I’m inclined to think she’s either a director’s actress or that she just isn’t at all suited to the type of acting required in your typical Akshay Kumar film (who I love, bless his heart, but that brand of cheesy film making requires a certain kind of actress and Kat doesn’t have what it takes for them).
The second (major spoiler alert here) is the treatment of Imran’s reunion with his father. It would have been easy (and lazy) to throw together a happy scene where the son embraces his long-lost father and all is well in the world, but Zoya isn’t lazy. Imran (played perfectly by Farhan, who for me had the standout performance of the film) struggles with the idea of meeting his father and when he finally does it isn’t a loving scene. There are no clichés here, just honesty: Salman (Naseeruddin Shah) didn’t want to give up his life to raise a child, so he left, and tells Imran he feels no remorse. It’s this second rejection that provides Imran with the emotional release he needed. Just as Arjun’s life changed when he overcame his fear of the water, so too did Imran’s as he moved past his fear of meeting the man who abandoned him.
And what was Kabir afraid of? Two things, as it turned out. For most of the film we’re led to believe he was afraid of getting married, but things aren’t always as they appear. He isn’t so much afraid of marriage as he’s afraid of not getting married, and the disappointment of his family that would follow. He’s afraid of breaking Natasha’s (Kalki Koechlin) heart. While Arjun’s transformation is more outwardly noticeable (going from uptight, obsessed career man to a dreamy man in love), Kabir is more complex. As he argues with Natasha (first at a distance, then in person as she joins the boys out of jealousy and suspicion) the easy going personality of Kabira (as his friends lovingly call him) is chipped away, revealing a man just as much in need of catharsis as his companions, perhaps even more.
I hesitate to compare Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara to Luck By Chance; where LBC was so plot driven and focused on the complex relationships between characters, ZNMD is more introspective. They're vastly different in their scope, though I will say that as much as I admire Hrithik as an actor, I found him more effective in LBC, where his time on screen was a fraction of what it is in ZNMD. He's so imposing that he almost overshadowed Abhay and Farhan, and while I was interested in Arjun's story line, it was Imran who I wanted more of. Farhan was stellar in his portrayal of a man who jokes his way through life as a cover for pain that he doesn't want to talk about. Abhay was the rock of the film, playing parent to Arjun and Imran and finally coming to terms with the decision he had to make. Hrithik and Katrina had wonderful chemistry, as did Farhan with Ariadna Cabrol, the Spanish actress who plays his love interest. I couldn't have been the only one who wanted their post-love scene Spanish/Hindi conversation to go on forever.
I want to say there aren't enough words to describe how moved I was by Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara but that's not true. I just threw out the three thousand odd that I had left from previous review attempts in favor of these, which are all that are necessary:
It's been a long time since I've posted here hasn't it? I have a bit of an excuse--I was in Jamaica, playing bridesmaid in the wedding of one of my best friends (and meeting so many fantastic people!), then in San Juan, Puerto Rico, exploring Old Town and getting a wee bit tipsy (true story) with some more friends, and then finally on a Caribbean cruise with my dad and sister.
I'm so spoiled.
Congratulations Danielle and Omar! <3
Anyways, now I'm back, and I'm slowly catching up on all the awesome (and not so awesome) goings-on in Filmiland.
What's not so awesome? Ready. I'm soooooo over hearing about Ready. I'm just...not interested. Asin's great and Salman's occasionally entertaining but when you watch three or four trailers in a row for a film and are still hard pressed to remember what it's about...well, that's a bad sign. Looks like another mass-produced formulaic bore. Yawn.
What's awesome? I'm glad you asked.
This is awesome:
Let's talk about this. Because I wasn't super excited when I heard about the project, and I wasn't super excited when someone sent me the trailer. But then I watched it. And I watched it again. And I decided I was kind of intrigued.
Politics of Love is about an Obama campaign worker (played by Mallika Sherawat) who falls in love with a McCain campaign worker. Craaaaaaazy, I know. And not just any old McCain campaign worker. A black McCain campaign worker (I know I know, but it's a movie so it doesn't have to be realistic.)
Anyways...drama drama, etc etc. It's your standard girl meets boy, boy happens to work for the spawn of Satan film where everything works out in the end with the help of sassy family and friends and a "can't we all get along" speech (or not...I haven't seen it but I'm assuming there'll be one of those in there somewhere).
So why wasn't I super excited about it? Because even a few years later I still have freaking Obama fatigue. I'm one of those super liberals who isn't really an Obama fan...you know the drill. Anyways. I wasn't sure how much "zomg isn't Obama amazing?!" I could take in one two minute trailer, but I was pleasantly surprised. The fact that I was able to set my political fatigue aside and get (albeit oh so briefly) involved with the rest of the trailer is a good sign. I'm not a big Mallika Sherawat fan either but I'm willing to give this a try.
Plus, come on, Loretta Devine? I fucking love her.
Continuing with things that are awesome, let's talk about Chammak Challo. You know the one. Akon doing his thing on a track that got leaked and made Shahrukh Khan cry?
Three things. First, this track is HOT. Like...I've listened to it a hundred times in two days hot. Second, a note to SRK: if it makes you feel at all better, I had absolutely no intention of seeing RA.One at all until I heard Chammak Challo. Now I'm willing to go just to check out the picturization. So see? Life's not all bad. :) Third, Akon could become a Bollywood playback singer in a heartbeat. His Hindi sounds better when he sings than mine does, and I've been studying Hindi for damn near five years now. If he and Vishal ever did an album together...just sayin'...
Akon. So hot right now. Akon.
Ahem. Moving on...
Another trailer, this time for Breakaway, the new Russell Peters/Rob Lowe film about a desi ice hockey team. Think The Mighty Ducks meets Bend It Like Beckham. It has all the things I look for in a film: Rob Lowe, Russell Peters, Anupam Kher, and Sikhs on ice.
And finally, the official trailer for Aarakshan is out, and it looks like a humdinger. I'm excited to see Saif finally do something that looks interesting. Add in the riveting Prateik Babbar and you've got a film I'm dying to see.
Not a bad group of things to be excited about!
There is one thing I'm starting to get a little nervous about, and that's Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. I have exceptionally high hopes and expectations for Zoya's second film, based on both how absolutely amazing Luck By Chance was and on the ZNMD cast. Other than Katrina Kaif, the film has a cast you simply can't go wrong with. Hrithik, Farhan, Abhay, and Kalki are all favorites of mine and are phenomenally talented. And of course I'm drawn to anything set in Spain. Which brings me to my concern:
Spain. I love it. The best times of my life have been in Spain. Every once in a while I swear I can still smell it.
And I'm afraid that it's about to be turned into a film cliche. La Tomatina? Running with the bulls? I worry that my beloved Spain is being used as an exotic backdrop rather than as a legitimate character in the film.
That, along with the fact that I'm horribly underwhelmed by the soundtrack, is bringing down my expectations just a little bit. Who knows, it could end up being a phenomenal film. But I'm getting a bit worried...
Oh oh oh! Forgot to add the trailer for My Friend Pinto, which looks HILARIOUS and stars Prateik Babbar (swoon) and Kalki Koechlin (total girl crush). I can't wait for this one!
In anticipation of the release of Tees Maar Khan, NDTV put up a gorgeous slide show of Katrina Kaif. I might not think much of her in terms of acting or dancing, but there's no denying the girl's beautiful. The full series of photos can be found on the NDTV website. Here are a few highlights:
Post Boom and pre-nose job
Katrina and her sister, Isabel (soon to debut in Bollywood)
Katrina's many films with Akshay Kumar (not my favorite jodi but it's box office gold, so who am I to judge?)
It's pretty hard to find a pic of Katrina Kaif looking anything but glamorous, but photographers caught a few of her as she accompanied Akshay Kumar to the Golden Temple in Amritsar. The two were in town to promote Tees Maar Khan and stopped to pay their respects (or further promote their film, who knows at this point) at the temple.
I'm going to assume this was taken fairly early in the morning and I get that it was chilly but Katrina's looking pretty rough here. Minimal makeup, totally fine. Bulky jacket, probably necessary. But what on earth is on her head? I'm sure it's meant to be a scarf but it looks like a beaten up do-rag that you'd wear when you were fourteen and on a basketball team and trying to look cool but you weren't quite pulling it off. She's got a team of six trillion stylists and assistants traveling with her--couldn't they have come up with something better than this? (Also what's going on with her lips...has she had them done again?)
Because all the cool kids are doing it, here's a post inspired by Govinda, that whacky lovable dancing wonder. Sadly I don't own any of his films or there'd be a review here instead, but what I can offer are a couple of my favorite Govinda songs!
"Usne Bola Kem Chhe" from Jis Desh Mein Ganga Rehta Hai is a song I first came across while watching SaReGaMaPa a few years ago. Mauli Dave did an outstanding version, and it became one of my favorite songs. It was only a few months ago that I thought to myself, hmm...maybe I should check out the original. (Be patient, the guy who posted this vid did a bit of self promotion in front of it!)
My only other exposure to Govinda (besides his brief bit in Om Shanti Om, which follows) comes from his appearance with Salman Khan at the 2007 IIFA Awards, where he performed to the hit song "Soni De Nakhre" from the film Partner. I love love love him in this video. He almost makes up for having to watch Salman and Katrina "dance."
And lastly, a very brief glimpse of Govinda in "Deewangi Deewangi" from Om Shanti Om.
Raajneeti is another film I can't wait to see, particularly because I'm quickly becoming a huge fan of Ranbir Kapoor. The addition of Arjun Rampal and Naseeruddin Shah don't hurt either!
It's especially nice that UTV has distributed this trailer with subtitles--not that I wouldn't have appreciated it either way, but the English is helpful. :)
Raajneeti (Politics), a film by Prakash Jha, starring Katrina Kaif, Ranbir Kapoor, Ajay Devgn, Arjun Rampal, Vivek Oberoi, Nana Patekar, Naseeruddin Shan, and Manoj Bajpai.
